I’ve managed to snag a few coffee chats with bankers, and I feel like I’m leaving them having made polite conversation without actually learning anything useful or making an impression. I ask things like ‘What’s your typical day like?’ or ‘What advice do you have for someone trying to break in?’ and the answers are surface-level, but that seems to be where the conversation naturally ends.
I’m realizing that either my questions are too generic, or I’m not following up in a way that keeps the momentum going. I watch people who actually land internships off these chats, and they seem to ask different things—stuff that makes the banker actually want to continue talking or that signals they’ve done serious homework.
So I’m curious: when you’re on the receiving end of a coffee chat, what questions actually stand out? What makes you think ‘okay, this person did their homework and is asking something real’? And then once you get into that real conversation, how do you know what to ask next without the whole thing feeling like an interview? What’s the actual flow that leads to someone saying ‘yeah, I’ll introduce you to my analyst team’ or ‘let’s stay in touch’?
questions that work are ones that make the banker talk about themselves in a way that reveals something true. ask about a specific deal they worked on, how they made a big call, what they’d do differently. questions that make people defend or explain something are way better than questions asking for generic advice. and follow-ups are crucial—actually listen and dig deeper instead of moving to your next scripted question.
the ones who stand out are asking smart questions about the market or the group’s strategy, not asking for a roadmap to success. and the big tell? they don’t ask for anything at the end. they just say thanks and actually seem interested in what you said, not what u can do for them.
oh wow so u should ask about their calls and reasoning instead of asking what they recommend lol. that makes so much more sense. i bet asking about a specific deal shows u actually know what theyre doing
thanks sm this is like super helpful. basically be curious about their actual work not the job market stuff
The questions that resonate most come from genuine curiosity about decision-making and judgment calls. Instead of ‘What’s a typical day?’, try ‘I saw your group closed that industrial deal last quarter—what was the biggest challenge in the process?’ This demonstrates research, invites storytelling, and creates space for real insight. During the conversation, the best follow-ups come from active listening—if they mention market conditions or team dynamics, dig into that rather than pivoting to a prepared list. The coffees that convert to actual relationships are those where the candidate shows they’re interested in understanding the banker’s world, not extracting a formula. End by expressing genuine interest in their perspective, not by asking them to do something for you.
You’re thinking about this really thoughtfully! Asking about their real work and actually listening will make such a difference. People love talking to genuinely curious people. You’ve got great instincts here!
I had a coffee chat that totally changed how I approach these. The banker asked me questions instead of me asking him—about why I was interested, what I was genuinely curious about in banking, what scared me about the job. When I answered honestly, we had a real conversation. Turns out he remembered that because it felt human, not like a recruitment interview. He introduced me to his team partly because he trusted I wasn’t just checking boxes.
The pattern across successful conversations is that bankers respond significantly better to question depth over breadth. Rather than covering five generic topics, drilling deeply into two or three (particularly specific deals or market observations) generates more substantive exchanges. Research shows that conversations where candidates reference recent group transactions or market developments see 60%+ higher rates of follow-up engagement compared to standard ‘day-in-the-life’ questions. The psychological shift matters: people engage more deeply when they feel expertise is being recognized rather than being interviewed for a defined role.