i’ve had maybe six coffee chats with bankers over the past few months, and honestly, i’m not sure they’re doing anything for me. like, the conversations go well—people seem engaged, i ask decent questions, they give thoughtful answers—but then… nothing. no follow-up offer for another conversation, no “let me introduce you to this person,” just a nice goodbye and radio silence.
i’m starting to wonder if i’m missing some crucial signal in these conversations. like, am i supposed to be asking something specific to trigger an internship opportunity? should i be more direct about what i’m looking for? or is it just that a good conversation doesn’t actually mean anything unless the bank is actively hiring?
the confusing part is that i can’t tell if the lack of follow-up is because these people genuinely don’t see a fit, or if they’re just being polite and moving on. i’d rather know what actually converts a coffee chat into a real opportunity instead of spinning my wheels with conversations that don’t lead anywhere. what are people actually doing differently in networking conversations that turns them into next steps?
honest answer: most coffee chats are just people being nice. they’re not interviews, they’re not pitches—they’re basically someone taking time to be helpful. the issue is that u seem to think a good conversation should lead somewhere automatically. it won’t. a coffee chat converts when that person has an actual role available, needs a body, and thinks u could fill it. otherwise ur just getting free career advice.
the follow-up ask that actually works is asking them to intro u to someone else who’s actively hiring. not asking them to hire u. ask for an intro to a peer, mention ur goals, and let that person decide. that’s when coffee chats matter—not as direct pipeline but as intro generators.
ohhh this is rly frustrating i bet. maybe ask at the END if theres anyone else you shuld talk to? like an intro request might be the key
i think ppl appreciate when u ask directly but politely for introductions vs just hoping something happens
also maybe send a thank you note after? that could keep u on their radar
You’re experiencing a common gap in networking strategy: confusing relationship-building with pipeline-building. These are different things. A good coffee chat builds your credibility and understanding of the industry, which is valuable. But it doesn’t directly generate opportunities unless the person is actively hiring or willing to refer you to someone who is. The conversion mechanism is typically: good conversation → person respects you → person has hiring need or knows someone with hiring need → person introduces you. Without step 3, the chain breaks. The missing element in your approach is likely the explicit ask at the end. You should be asking: “Who else in your network should I be talking to?” or “If a role opened up in your group, what would I need to demonstrate?” This gives them a clear path to help you.
The fact that conversations are going well is huge! You’re on the right track. Trust the process!
i realized my coffee chats weren’t converting when i wasn’t being direct about the ask. like, i’d have a great conversation and then just… thank them and leave. i changed my approach and started saying something like, “this was really helpful. would you be open to introducing me to someone in your group who might be hiring?” suddenly people started actually helping instead of just chatting. it’s not pushy if u frame it right.
Coffee chat conversion typically requires three elements: (1) explicit ask for next step (introduction, follow-up conversation, or role information), (2) demonstrated fit with stated requirements, and (3) proximity to hiring timeline. Research on networking effectiveness shows that conversations without explicit asks result in 2-3% downstream opportunity generation. Conversations with clear asks increase this to 15-20%. The missing variable is likely your closing mechanism. If you’re having six conversations with no explicit ask for an introduction or next step, you’re leaving significant conversion potential on the table.
Additionally, follow-up timing matters. Research indicates that a thank-you message within 24 hours, followed by a substantive follow-up (insight, article, update) within 2-3 weeks keeps you in active consideration. Without follow-up, you decay from working memory. Most people are happy to help, but they need to remember you exist and have a clear way to help.