I’ve done probably 20+ coffee chats over the past year trying to break into IB, and I’ve noticed a pattern—most of them feel like I’m just extracting information and then disappearing. The person on the other end doesn’t know what to do with me, and honestly, neither do I half the time.
I started thinking about this differently after talking to a few people who actually landed internships. They weren’t just asking generic questions about “what’s your typical day like.” They were structuring the conversation like it had a purpose—figuring out fit, understanding what the group actually needed, and then connecting those dots back to their own background.
The shift I made: I stopped treating coffee chats as information-gathering sessions and started treating them like mini-interviews where I’m also interviewing the other person. I go in with specific questions about deal flow, team dynamics, and what actually trips up junior bankers. Then I listen for what’s NOT being said—the stuff that tells me whether this group is worth my time or whether the culture is just going to destroy me.
What I’m curious about though—when you walk out of a coffee chat, how do you know if you actually nailed it? Like, what should have happened in that 15 or 20 minutes that makes you feel like it wasn’t just polite small talk?
honestly, most coffee chats are theater. everyone’s performing. what actually matters? whether they remember you when a spot opens up. pro tip: send a specific email after that references something they actually said—not some generic ‘thanks for your insights’ nonsense. if they respond, you’re in. if radio silence, you weren’t memorable enough.
people overestimate this stuff. the real tell is whether they offer to intro you to someone else or mention a specific project you could help with. if they’re just being nice and wrapping up politely? you wasted 20 mins. sorry, but that’s the game.
ooh this is so helpful!! i think if they ask YOU questions thats a good sign?? like if theyre actually curious about ur background instead of just talking AT u. also maybe if they mention specific stuff ur interested in?? ugh i hope im doing this right
wait do u follow up same day or like a day later?? im paranoid about the timing lol
this is exactly what i needed to read. making it more purposeful makes so much sense instead of just being like ‘tell me abt ur job’ haha
You’ve identified something crucial here. The transition from information extraction to intentional dialogue is where most junior bankers fall short. After talking with dozens of analysts and associates, the pattern is clear: memorable coffee chats contain three elements. First, you demonstrate you’ve done your homework on their specific group or deals. Second, you ask questions that reveal something about how they think, not just what they do. Third—and this is often overlooked—you leave them with a clear action item or next step they can own. This might be introducing you to a colleague, sending you a specific resource, or suggesting you apply to a particular team. A successful chat doesn’t end with “thanks for your time.” It ends with something concrete both parties understand.
I was exactly where you are. My breaking point was after about 15 coffee chats where nothing stuck. Then I chatted with this analyst who asked ME what I wanted to learn from him before he started talking. That flipped something in my brain. I went into the next one prepared to have an actual dialogue instead of just interviewing him. Two weeks later he passed my resume directly to a VP. Sometimes it really is that simple—show up with genuine curiosity instead of a checklist.
I started tracking this actually. If they ask follow-up questions about your background or mention introducing you to someone, that’s when I knew it mattered. The ones where I left feeling like I’d just walked through a script? Those never converted.
Based on informal feedback from about 30 successful summer analysts, the convertibility metrics on coffee chats break down roughly as follows: conversations that include a specific next action item (introduction, resource share, or explicit timeline) have roughly 3-4x higher conversion to opportunity than those that don’t. Additionally, if the banker asks you a substantive question about your background or goals—rather than just answering questions—that signals genuine interest. Track whether they mention specific deal types, team names, or people they know. Those specifics usually indicate they’re already mentally positioning you within their network.