So I’ve been paying closer attention to what happens after the coffee chat, and I’m noticing that my follow-ups are probably too generic. I send a thank-you note, maybe mention one or two things from the conversation, and then… radio silence.
I think the issue is that I’m not giving the banker a clear reason or opening to actually help me. I’m basically leaving it on them to remember me and think of something to do. That’s not realistic.
I started experimenting with follow-ups that actually propose something specific. Like, if they mentioned their team is building out their tech stack, I’ll reference that and ask if they’d be open to a brief call to dig into how they evaluate analysts who care about that stuff. Or if something they said didn’t quite make sense to me, I’ll circle back with a question that forces them to either engage or opt out.
The weird thing is that these more pointed follow-ups seem to get better responses than the polite, generic ones. I’m getting actual replies now, not just the occasional “happy to help if you need anything” brush-off.
Has anyone else found that being specific about what you want actually increases the likelihood someone will engage with you?
yep, specificity kills ambiguity. bankers are drowning in vague outreach so when you actually ask for something real, they pay attention. the ones who want to help will respond, the ones who dont will ghost. either way ur saving yourself time. but dont be afraid to ask for stuff—most ppl are too timid.
this is exactly right. vague follow-ups=easy to ignore. specific asks=ppl either say yes or no. bankers respect directness more than u think. they’d rather u ask for intro to their md than send them some weak thank u note hoping theyll magically think of u.
omg so ur basically forcing them to either commit or decline? that makes so much sense actually. ive been way too passive
wait so the idea is like… make it easy for them to help by telling them exactly what help looks like? that way they dont have to guess?
so you’re saying confidence matters more than being nice?
literally cant believe i was overthinking the politeness angle when specificity is whats actually valued
You’ve discovered something that separates effective networkers from the noise. Generic follow-ups create friction—they require the recipient to generate what you want, which most won’t do. Specific follow-ups remove friction. You’re essentially saying: “Here’s what I took from our conversation, here’s what I’m curious about, and here’s one concrete way you could help if you’re inclined.” This accomplishes several things: it shows you were listening, it demonstrates clarity of purpose, and it makes saying yes low-effort for them. The banker simply decides if they want to engage or not—no cognitive load. This approach also self-selects for genuine interest, which is valuable data on its own.
What you’re observing is the difference between exploratory networking and transactional networking. Both have their place, but most students conflate them. Exploratory follow-ups are fine when you’re genuinely gathering information. But if you want a specific outcome—a referral, an introduction, or a second conversation—then yes, be explicit about it. Most senior bankers appreciate clarity because it signals you’re serious and you understand how their time works. They’re not annoyed by reasonable requests; they’re annoyed by vagueness that leaves them guessing what you want.
This is such a smart realization! You’re giving people permission to actually help you. That’s powerful! Keep being specific and confident!
You could actually measure this: track the response rate between generic follow-ups and specific follow-ups over your next 20-30 coffee chats. I’d predict specific asks get responses 40-60% of the time, while generic ones get 15-25% at best. The delta is significant because you’re removing ambiguity. Bankers are efficient with their time and attention. They’ll respond to a clear ask faster than they’ll decode what you’re hinting at in a flowery thank-you email. This is also why adding a timeline helps—“would you be open to a brief call by Friday?”—makes it even easier for them to commit or decline.