I’m tired of watching people follow advice that doesn’t work and then feel like they’re the problem. So let me be blunt about what I’ve seen actually kill networking momentum for banking internships.
First myth: “more outreach is always better.” I’ve watched people send 200 cold emails and get nothing. The problem isn’t the volume—it’s that they’re sending the same generic message to the wrong tier of people. One targeted email with specific context beats 10 generic ones. Period.
Second: “coffee chats are how you get jobs.” Wrong. Coffee chats are how you figure out if someone can help you, and how they figure out if you’re worth helping. The actual job offer comes from someone deciding you’re competent enough to refer or hire. Most coffee chats lead nowhere, and that’s fine.
Third: “networking starts senior.” It doesn’t. It starts with analysts and associates who remember what hungry feels like. They have way more sway than people think, and they’re better connectors because they’re still climbing too.
Fourth: “if someone doesn’t respond, they’re not interested.” Maybe. Or maybe they’re swamped. One follow-up makes sense. Beyond that, you’re wasting time.
What myths have you seen people actually fall for that backfire? And more importantly—what advice actually moves the needle?
the biggest one is thinking coffee chats build relationships. theyre just information gathering. real relationships form when u follow up with substance, not “hey great meeting lets do it again.” also ppl put wayyy too much faith in referrals from randos at events. warm intros from ppl who actually know u matter infinitely more. volume without targeting is basically just spam w networking’s name on it.
The most destructive myth is that networking is something you do separately from proving competence. Effective networking demonstrates value through substantive conversation—discussing market trends, deal structures, or industry dynamics. People refer candidates because they believe in their capability, not because they had three pleasant coffees. Additionally, the notion that you should “not ask for anything” is counterproductive. Clear, honest asks (“I’m targeting summer analyst roles at your firm—would you consider an introduction to recruiting?”) are far more effective than vague relationship-building. Specificity and clarity matter enormously.
ohhh this is super helpful! i was falling for the coffee chat trap—thought just meeting lots of ppl would magically lead somewhere. thanks for breaking this down so clearly!! 
also the whole “be patient and let relationships develop naturally” thing is mostly bs if u have a timeline. networking for an internship needs urgency. reach out early, follow up fast, and know when to move on. 6 months of “nurturing” a cold contact who wont engage is just procrastination.
Empirically, success metrics contradict several widespread myths. Research shows that 70%+ of referrals come from 2-3 high-leverage relationships rather than broad networks. This invalidates the “cast wide net” approach. Additionally, response rates to cold emails spike with specificity—generic outreach averages 3-5% response, while specific deal-referenced emails reach 12-18%. The myth that successful networkers have “big networks” is misleading; they have strategic networks. Finally, follow-up timing significantly impacts conversion—second contact within 1 week shows 35% higher engagement than delayed follow-ups.
i realized halfway through my cycle that i was networking like i was collecting pokemon cards. just trying to meet everyone. switched gears and focused on like five people i actually thought were cool, and had real conversations. one of them ended up referring me directly to the team hiring. it wasn’t magic—it was just… sustainable and human. made the whole thing less exhausting too.