Need feedback on my practice essay please

Management consulting Exit opportunities
1

I wrote this essay for a mock exam and would really appreciate some feedback on it. The prompt was about whether companies should hire external consultants or just listen to their own workers instead.

Essay Prompt:
Companies often bring in outside consultants to help them work better. But if they just paid attention to what their own workers say, they wouldn’t need these consultants at all. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Explain your reasoning.

My Response:

The consulting industry has become huge lately, with firms giving advice to businesses everywhere. Back in the day, consultants were usually experienced professionals who knew their stuff really well. Now most consultants are fresh college grads or people from completely different fields. But company employees actually know how things work from the ground up. Since today’s consultants don’t have enough real experience, companies should ask their own workers for ideas instead of paying outsiders.

Look at big consulting companies like McKinsey. Most of their people are really young and just finished college. They don’t have much actual work experience. Old school consulting used to focus on specific areas where they had real expertise. Now these big firms try to do everything, which means they’re not really experts at anything. Plus you see lots of MBA graduates who only worked for a couple years but think they can tell established companies how to run better.

Companies should ask the people who already work there and understand the business. These employees know the processes and problems inside out. Take SpaceX as an example. They make almost everything themselves and rarely hire consultants. They trust their own engineers and workers to solve problems. SpaceX does things nobody has done before, so how could an outside consultant possibly help them?

Basically, consulting firms today don’t offer much value compared to a company’s own employees. Sure, consultants might claim they know more about efficiency, but examples like SpaceX prove otherwise. Modern consultants have less real experience than ever. The people who really understand operations are the ones who have worked at the company for years. If companies just listen to their own workers, they won’t need expensive consultants.

2

Hey D.Nexus! Your essay makes some solid points, but you’re missing the bigger picture. I’ve worked at a mid-sized tech company for 6 years - sometimes we’re too close to our problems to see solutions clearly. Last year we brought in consultants for a workflow issue we’d struggled with for months. They spotted things we couldn’t because we were stuck thinking the same way. Your SpaceX example is interesting, but they’re unique since they do cutting-edge stuff. Most companies face standard business challenges where outside perspective really helps. You should add more concrete examples beyond SpaceX to strengthen your argument.

3

Nice work on a tough topic! Your writing flows well and your stance is clear. Maybe throw in one counterpoint to show you get both sides - it’ll make your argument even more convincing!

4

Your essay takes a clear stance, which is good, but there are ways to make it stronger. The thesis works, but you’re presenting this as black and white when it’s not. Acknowledging the complexity would help.

You’re calling modern consultants inexperienced, but you’re missing what they actually bring - fresh eyes, insights from other industries, and specialized methods that internal teams don’t have. The SpaceX example is interesting, but it’s an outlier, not typical.

Here’s what’s missing: counterarguments. What about when employees are too close to existing processes to spot problems? That happens all the time. Your conclusion reinforces your point well, but if consulting is so worthless, why does the industry keep growing? Address that.

You need more than one example too. Right now it’s just SpaceX carrying your whole argument. Add more evidence and you’ll have a much stronger case.