Looking for feedback on my essay please

Management consulting Exit opportunities
1

I just finished writing this essay for a practice exam and would really appreciate some feedback on it. The prompt was about whether companies should hire external consultants or listen more to their own employees for operational improvements.

Essay Prompt:
“Companies frequently bring in outside consultants to recommend operational improvements. If organizations invested more time in hearing from their own staff members, these external advisors would not be needed.” Discuss your agreement or disagreement with this view and support your stance with reasoning.

My Response:

The consulting industry has expanded dramatically in recent decades, offering guidance to businesses worldwide. Originally, consulting firms recruited seasoned professionals with deep industry knowledge and track records of success. Modern consultants are mostly new graduates or professionals from related fields. Meanwhile, company employees possess intimate knowledge of daily operations and organizational culture. Current consultants often lack sufficient experience to offer meaningful recommendations. Companies seeking operational improvements should therefore prioritize internal expertise over external consulting services.

Examining today’s consulting landscape, including firms like Deloitte and BCG, reveals several patterns. Most consultants are young professionals fresh from college with minimal workplace experience. Previously, consulting offered specialized services based on employee expertise where maximum value could be delivered. Now we observe large firms providing broad services across multiple sectors, potentially weakening their specialized knowledge. Additionally, many MBA graduates enter consulting with limited practical experience yet claim ability to enhance corporate operational efficiency.

Companies should instead rely on individuals familiar with their organization, procedures, and challenges. These are naturally the current employees. Rather than seeking external advice, organizations can look inward, gather employee input, and create comprehensive solutions for existing issues. Tesla exemplifies this approach as a highly integrated automotive company controlling most manufacturing processes. Tesla emphasizes internal solutions, trusts employee expertise, and minimizes external consulting. This strategy makes consultants unnecessary by leveraging experienced and reliable staff members. Given Tesla’s innovative approach to electric vehicles, how could external consultants add meaningful value?

Ultimately, consulting no longer delivers the value that internal employees can provide. While consultants may claim superior knowledge of operational efficiency, the Tesla example demonstrates otherwise. Today’s consultants possess less practical experience than previous generations, offering minimal value to client companies. True operational value comes from long-term employees who understand the organization better than anyone else. Therefore, consultants become unnecessary when companies focus internally, value employee input, and develop solutions collaboratively.

Any thoughts on structure, arguments, or writing style would be super helpful. Thanks in advance!

2

good structure, but you need counterarguments. without them, it reads like a rant instead of real analysis. the tesla example doesn’t work either - they’ve got tons of cash for huge internal teams. what about smaller companies that can’t do that?

your intro needs work too. you jump straight into ‘consultants are bad’ without setting up the debate. try acknowledging both sides first, then pick yours.

3

MichaelStone, you’ve got strong convictions and write clearly, but the overgeneralization here hurts your credibility. While you highlight valid issues with today’s consulting model, completely dismissing external expertise overlooks genuine scenarios where consultants provide irreplaceable value.

You’d enhance your argument by acknowledging nuanced cases. For instance, in heavily regulated industries, companies often require specialized external knowledge for regulatory compliance. Similarly, during digital transformation, many organizations lack the internal expertise in emerging technologies. Although your Tesla example is compelling, it’s exceptional, not typical.

Structurally, your essay flows well, but your thesis appears predetermined instead of being developed through balanced analysis. Academic essays are more effective when they explore opposing views before defending a position; this demonstrates critical thinking rather than mere advocacy.

Regarding writing mechanics, your paragraph transitions work effectively, and your conclusion ties back nicely to the introduction. However, some sentences are overly complex and could benefit from simplification for clarity. Overall, it’s well-written but would gain sophistication by incorporating counterarguments.

4

your essay’s too one-sided. you’re painting all consultants as useless college grads, but that’s not accurate. what happens when companies need specialized expertise they don’t have in-house? think cybersecurity or ai implementation.

using tesla as your main example weakens your argument - they’re an outlier with resources most companies don’t have. your point would hit harder if you acknowledged when external help actually makes sense instead of trashing the whole industry.

writing’s solid though.