I’ve done maybe ten coffee chats over the last few months with different analysts and associates at banks I’m interested in, and honestly, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. A few of them seemed genuinely interested in talking to me, but then nothing happened. No follow-ups, no introductions to the recruiting team, nothing.
I’m trying to figure out if I’m asking the wrong questions, if I’m not following up the right way, or if I’m just hitting dead ends with people who were just being polite. Some of the conversations felt natural and others felt like I was reading from a script, which probably shows.
I want to get real feedback here: when you were on the other side of that coffee chat—or if you’ve been doing this and had success—what actually made the difference between a chat that went nowhere and one that turned into something? What did the person do that made you think “yeah, I’m actually going to help this person” or what made you just forget about them after?
Also, is there a point in a conversation where you’re supposed to actually ask about internship opportunities, or does that just happen naturally if they like you?
people help people they remember and like. most coffee chats are forgettable because the candidate asks generic stuff they coulda googled. stand out by asking something specific about their experience—like what their ugliest deal was or when they almost walked. actually showing you care beats the polished routine every time. and yeah, ask directly about opps, just not in the first five mins.
follow-up is where most ppl screw up. send a thoughtful note within 24 hours that references something specific you talked about. then leave them alone. if they want to help, they will. chasing after ppl just makes them ghost harder.
oh man this helps! so like actually be genuine instead of robotic? and follow up but not too much? i feel like ive been making these chats too formal. gunna try asking more real questions next time. thx!
The coffee chat converts when two conditions align: genuine rapport and clear mutual value proposition. Your role is to demonstrate you’ve done homework on their work specifically—not the firm, their work. Ask about a recent deal they led, a decision they made, or a challenge they faced. This signals serious interest and gives them material to assess you on. Regarding the ask: position it as asking for their perspective on your candidacy, not asking them to hire you. Something like ‘I’d genuinely value your take on whether this internship is a good fit for me’ invites honesty and often leads to them volunteering to help. Follow-up should reference specific insights from your conversation and offer something back—relevant article, connection, or just genuine thanks. The internship discussion flows naturally only if they see potential.
The dead-end chats I had were with people who I’d reached out to cold and who probably felt obligated to meet. The conversations that actually led places? Those were with people I had some warm introduction to or who felt personally invested. My advice is be pickier about who you chat with and put more energy into researching them first. Quality over quantity.
Coffee chat conversion rates improve dramatically with specificity. Data shows that candidates who reference specific recent deals, market movements, or the banker’s publicly attributed work get callbacks 60% more often than generic conversations. The ask matters too—framing the conversation as ‘I’d like your feedback on my fit’ rather than ‘Can you get me an internship’ improves follow-through significantly. Document what you learn from each person; patterns emerge about who’s helpful versus transactional. Most bankers help if they see resourcefulness in the candidate and genuine interest in learning, not just landing an offer.