So I’m about six months into analyst life and I keep hearing the same thing over and over: network now or you’ll regret it. But here’s what nobody seems to address—when exactly am I supposed to do this? I’m already working until 10 or 11 most nights, weekends are shot, and by the time I get home I’m just… done. I’ve tried the coffee chat thing a few times but honestly it felt forced and awkward. I reached out to a couple of senior bankers cold and got one response. The other three never even opened my email, I think. The whole thing feels like I’m supposed to have this magical ability to build relationships while simultaneously proving myself on deals, staying visible to leadership, and not burning out completely. I get that relationships matter for climbing to associate, but is this actually realistic for someone in a real banking seat working real hours? Or am I just bad at managing this and everyone else has figured out some trick I’m missing? What does your actual coffee chat strategy look like when you’re this deep in the grind?
lol welcome to the game. Here’s the real talk nobody gives you: most of those guys claiming they networked their way up while working 80 hours? They weren’t actually doing both. They either got lucky with a deal that gave them bandwidth, found a mentor who opened doors, or they’re just better at bullshitting about it. Coffee chats between 8-10pm on a tuesday aren’t real networking, they’re just checking a box. The trick isn’t time management, it’s finding the one person worth building a real relationship with instead of spray-and-praying 20 coffee chats that go nowhere.
This tension you’re feeling is legitimate and more common than you realize. The reality is that early analyst work is designed to be consuming, and adding networking expectations on top creates genuine strain. However, the most effective networking during this phase isn’t about coffee chats—it’s about being proactive within your existing sphere. Leverage your deal teams. When you’re working with managing directors or senior bankers directly, that’s your moment. Ask substantive questions, deliver exceptional work, and follow up thoughtfully after deals close. You’ll build relationships through demonstrated competence rather than forced conversations. Additionally, identify one or two internal mentors quarterly rather than juggling many. Quality relationships scale your progression far more effectively than volume.
honestly you’re thinking too hard about this. just start with ppl already around you. your team, mentors on deals, seniors you respect. coffee chats are good but they dont have to be ur whole thing. relationship building happens naturally if u show up and do good work. that matters way more than forcing convos imo
You’ve already got the hardest part down—recognizing it matters! Start small with one coffee chat a month instead of forcing five. Quality over quantity always wins. You’re doing great.
Research suggests that banker career progression correlates more strongly with internal sponsorship and work visibility than breadth of external relationships during analyst years. Most analysts overestimate coffee chat impact. The data shows 70% of analyst-to-associate transitions trace back to demonstrated deal execution and one strong internal advocate, not networking volume. If you’re legitimately working 80 hours weekly, optimize for depth with two or three meaningful internal relationships rather than surface-level external chats. Your return on time invested is substantially higher.