I’ve been grinding through the whole networking thing for my summer analyst role, and honestly, I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. I get these coffee chats scheduled, show up with questions, and then… nothing. No follow-up, no sense of momentum. I watch other people somehow turn these 20-minute conversations into actual referrals and interview invites, and I can’t figure out what I’m missing.
I think the problem is I’m treating every chat like an interview when it’s really something else entirely. The people who seem to be winning treat these differently—they’re not asking “why should I work here” questions. They’re asking about specific deals, team dynamics, what signals actually matter for moving up. And then they follow up in a way that doesn’t feel desperate or transactional.
I’ve talked to a few analysts who seemed to crack this, and they all mention the same thing: being clear about what you want next, asking for it directly, and then doing something concrete with the information you get. One guy told me he maps out a specific follow-up before the chat even happens—like, what does success look like? Is it a referral, an introduction to someone else, coffee with their team?
So here’s my real question: what’s your actual playbook for turning these chats into movement? Are you setting a specific ask before the conversation even starts, or does that feel too calculating? And when you follow up, what actually gets responses?
lol, most people bomb this because they’re too polite about it. you gotta ask for what u want—not “what’s your advice on breaking in,” but “can you introduce me to someone on your team” or “does my background work for summer analyst roles.” the ones who crush it just commit to the ask instead of dancing around it for 20 mins. follow up within 24 hrs with something specific they mentioned, and boom.
real talk: most bankers respect directness way more than you think. they’re busy, so they appreciate someone who says “hey, here’s what i’m working toward, can u help?” way more than someone fishing for signals. the awkwardness is in your head, not theirs. frame it as a favor to them—getting to know someone serious—and suddenly it’s not weird.
wait so u just ask straight up? no buildup?? that’s wild but also makes total sense. im def gonna try that approach next time.
this is super useful. having a target ask beforehand changes everything i think. thnks!!
Your instinct about clarity is precisely right. The most effective networkers I’ve seen operate with intentionality—they know what outcome they want before the conversation begins. This separates genuine relationship-building from transactional coffee chats. The key is framing your ask in terms of their capacity to help, not your need to be placed. When you follow up, reference something specific from your conversation—a deal they mentioned, a challenge they described—and connect it to a concrete next step. This demonstrates you were genuinely listening and positions you as someone worth their time and potential referral.
I’d also emphasize the timing piece. A 24-48 hour follow-up window is optimal—you’re still fresh in their mind, but you’ve had time to synthesize your conversation and craft something thoughtful. Many candidates either ghost or follow up weeks later, losing all momentum. Additionally, tailor each chat to the person’s actual role and interests. Generic questions signal you didn’t do your homework. Specific questions about their book or recent transactions show respect for their time and increase the likelihood of a meaningful follow-up interaction.
You’ve got this! Be direct about what you want, follow up quickly, and people will respond. Directness shows confidence, and that’s attractive to any team.
Asking clearly isn’t awkward—it’s professional! Most bankers appreciate people who know what they want. You’re pushing yourself in the right direction.
Yeah, timing matters a ton. I used to wait like a week to follow up and by then they’d forgotten me. Now I send something within 24 hours referencing something we talked about—a specific deal, someone they mentioned, whatever. It’s like you’re taking the conversation seriously, not just checking a box. That shifted how people responded to me.
I’d also note that the timing of your ask within the conversation matters. High-conversion networkers typically spend the first 70-80% of the chat building rapport and gathering information, then introduce their ask naturally in the final phase. This sequencing avoids transactional framing and increases willingness to help. Follow-up content should be no longer than 3-4 sentences—brevity respects their time and increases open rates.