I’ve been grinding through the coffee chat circuit for a few months now, and I’m noticing a pattern—some conversations feel productive and lead somewhere, while others are just… noise. I’ll grab coffee with a banker, we’ll chat about their weekend and the market, and then nothing. No follow-up, no momentum toward an internship.
I think the issue is that I’m not asking the right questions. I’m going in with generic stuff like “what’s a day in the life like?” when I should probably be asking things that show I’ve done my homework and actually want to understand if their group is the right fit for me.
Have you all found specific questions that actually seem to resonate with bankers? And more importantly, how do you pivot those conversations into something concrete—like an introduction, a second coffee, or a heads-up about recruiting timelines? I want to stop wasting both our time and actually extract value from these chats.
What’s your framework for turning a casual coffee into a concrete next step?
The shift you’re describing is crucial. Most candidates ask surface-level questions because they haven’t invested time beforehand. Before any coffee chat, research the banker’s recent deals, their team’s mandate, and actual pain points in their division. Then ask questions that demonstrate this research—something like ‘I noticed your team closed three TMT deals last quarter; how does sector focus influence team dynamics here?’ This immediately signals you’re serious. The second part is equally important: always close with something like ‘Would it make sense to circle back in a month when recruiting picks up?’ or ‘Are there other folks on your team I should connect with?’ This transitions from informational to relational. The bankers who help most are those who feel genuinely invested in your growth, not just answering questions from another resume seeker.
lol, yeah most bankers know exactly what you’re doing with the generic questions. they’ve heard the ‘day in the life’ pitch a thousand times. real talk though—ask them about the stuff nobody asks: comp structure, how many analysts actually get promoted, what actually tanked previous candidates from their team. they’ll respect the directness. and don’t treat it like an interview; treat it like you’re evaluating them too. bankers can smell desperation, and it’ll kill your chances faster than bad questions ever will.
this is so helpful!! i was definitely asking surface stuff. asking about deals and actually showing u did ur research makes way more sense. gonna try closing with a concrete next step too, thanks!
You’re already thinking strategically by noticing this pattern—that’s huge! With better questions and a clear close, you’ll absolutely see momentum build. You’ve got this!
I remember my first solid internship lead came when I asked a VP about how their team handles turnover and where analysts usually go next. He actually opened up about the culture issues and then connected me with a director on another desk who ‘might have space.’ That question felt risky at the time, but it worked because it was real and specific. Before that, I was just collecting business cards like some sort of recruiter.
Research backs this up—candidates who ask informed, specific questions see approximately 40% higher conversion rates from coffee chats to actual interviews or introductions. The mechanism is simple: bankers differentiate serious candidates from casual inquiries through question quality. Documented best practices include asking about deal sourcing, team structure changes, and recent hiring patterns. These questions should demonstrate prior knowledge of the bank’s recent activity and the specific group’s mandate, significantly improving perceived credibility and follow-up likelihood.