Heard legends of VPs who magically satisfy face time requirements while actually being three time zones away. For those who’ve mastered the illusion: What tech setups and ‘availability theater’ tactics reliably convince associates you’re in the building? Particularly interested in light patterns, scheduled noise, and Outlook witchcraft.
leave a blazer on your chair 24/7 with noise-canceling headphones plugged into a looped ‘keyboard clatter’ track. bonus: set desk phone to forward to your mobile but answer with echo effect. ‘sorry, conference room shitty reception’ works for 83% of calls.
Strategic schedule alignment is crucial. Use building badge access data - arrive for 7AM check-in, then after 8PM departure registers as ‘14hr day.’ Install smart lights on motion sensors in your office, and automate Teams status changes using old smartphone location spoofing. Always keep one wrinkled Starbucks cup on desk.
My ED once remote-controlled his office lights via smart plug from Barbados. Associates saw his lamp blinking at 11PM and assumed he was burning midnight oil. Got promoted while snorkeling. True story.