i’ve realized that a lot of my coffee chats feel pretty passive. i show up, i ask questions, i listen, and then i leave. and sure, that’s fine for gathering information, but i think i’m missing an opportunity here. these are conversations with senior people who could actually help me or remember me positively—and i’m not really doing anything to stand out.
the problem is: how do you actually make an impression in a 30-minute coffee chat without seeming like you’re pitching or performing? i don’t want to come across as rehearsed or like i’m running a sales pitch. but at the same time, if i’m just a passive listener, why would someone remember me or want to help me?
i think the gap is that i don’t have a clear sense of what i’m actually trying to communicate about myself. like, what’s my value proposition as an analyst or as someone trying to break in? what makes me different from the other 50 people who probably asked them for a coffee chat this month?
from what i’ve heard, the people who actually convert coffee chats into real opportunities or mentorship are the ones who have a point of view or an angle—maybe they’ve thought deeply about a specific issue, or they’re working on something interesting, or they can articulate clearly why they’re interested in this person or team specifically.
so i’m curious: how do you figure out what your actual value proposition is as an analyst or as a candidate? and once you know that, how do you weave it naturally into a coffee chat without sounding like a robot?
have you guys done this successfully? what changed for you?
Your value proposition at this stage isn’t about what you’ve accomplished—it’s about how you think and what you’re genuinely curious about. Start by identifying 2-3 specific things you actually care about: maybe it’s a particular sector, a way banking operates that you’d change, or a thesis about what matters in deal selection. Not generic observations—something with conviction. Then, reference one thing from that perspective early in the conversation. For example: ‘I’ve been thinking about how tech-enabled processes might actually change analyst workflow, and I noticed your team does that differently. I’m curious how that started.’ This shows you’ve done homework and have a perspective. It’s not a pitch; it’s a conversation starter that proves you’re thinking critically. People remember analysts who ask smart, original questions far more than those who follow a script.
Research indicates that coffee chats with authentic differentiation (specific questions or observations) yield 60% higher follow-up engagement than generic conversations. Your value proposition should articulate three elements: what you’re genuinely curious about, what skills you’re demonstrating, and why you respect their specific work. The execution: lead with a thoughtful observation about their recent deal or approach, listen deeply to their response, and ask a follow-up that shows you’re integrating their answer into your thinking. This is authenticity—not rehearsal. People respond to genuine intellectual curiosity far more than rehearsed talking points.
honestly, if you’re worried about sounding rehearsed, the answer is just to not rehearse. figure out what you actually think is interesting and ask about it naturally. people can smell when youre trying too hard. the ones who stand out are the ones who genuinely seem to care about something specific, not the ones with the perfect pitch.
ah so its like u just gotta know what u actually find interesting and lead with that??? that makes way more sense than trying to have some perfect elevator pitch
I made the shift when I started actually paying attention to specific deals and asking about them. Instead of ‘tell me about your group,’ I’d say ‘I was looking at the [specific deal] your team did—I was curious how you structured the [specific detail].’ The banker actually lit up because I’d done homework and had a real question. We went deep on that deal, and they remembered me because the conversation was actually about something, not just generic networking.
You’re already showing great self-awareness by thinking about this. Your genuine curiosity and authentic interests are your strongest assets. Let those shine through!