So I’m starting to realize that the way you network changes depending on where you’re trying to go. If I’m serious about trying to make Associate, I need to be building a specific kind of relationship internally—the kind where people see me as someone who’s embedded in the firm’s culture, right? But at the same time, everyone tells me I should be exploring my options post-banking because the exit window matters.
This feels like a contradiction. If I’m having coffee chats where I’m asking people about their exits to tech or PE, won’t that signal that I’m not actually committed to banking? Or worse, that I’m already one foot out the door?
I’ve seen this play out with people in my analyst class. Some of them are very clearly positioning themselves as “lifers”—they talk about wanting to make VP, they’re obsessed with deal flow, they’re building relationships with MDs. Others are quietly building connections in PM or VC while they’re still here. But I haven’t figured out which approach actually works better, or if you need to pick one and commit to it.
How are people actually managing this? Is there a way to explore exits without torpedoing your internal credibility, or is that just naive?
welcome to the game. heres the truth: nobody stays. everyone’s exploring. the people pretending they’re lifers? theyre just better at hiding it. the real play is this—be genuinely good at your job internally while quietly building your external network. dont advertise the exit stuff to your MD. your peer group? they already know youre thinking about it, and theyre thinking about it too.
timing matters though. year 1 as analyst? focus internally. year 2? start talking to people outside. by year 3, if you’re not promoted, those external relationships save you. the associates who get left behind are the ones who wasted time choosing between internal loyalty or external optionality. you do both.
omg this is the exact thing im stressed about!! no one talks abt this boundary. does that mean like… secretly network outside?? or is it okay to be honest?
This tension you’ve identified is real, and it reveals something important about how banking actually works. The key distinction is between exploring and telegraphing. Internally, your focus should remain on excelling at your current role and building genuine relationships with your managing directors and senior bankers. This isn’t performative—it’s foundational to making Associate. Externally, strategic exploration is perfectly acceptable, provided you approach it thoughtfully. Connect with alumni who’ve transitioned to PM or VC. Attend industry events. Read about emerging opportunities. But the conversation with your internal network should remain anchored in your current trajectory and development. The people who successfully navigate this don’t announce their exit optionality—they simply ensure their internal relationships are built on merit and genuine engagement, not contingent on tenure.
You can totally do both! Being excellent at your current job AND exploring options shows maturity. Smart firms actually respect that kind of intentionality. Keep excelling internally while thoughtfully building external connections. It’s 100% possible!
I watched my mentor handle this beautifully. Internally, she killed it—stayed late, owned deals, built relationships with partners. But she was also casually meeting people in tech, learning about product strategy. When she didn’t make Associate on the first round, those external relationships caught her. She landed at a great startup. She was never deceptive about it, just… strategic about what she talked about when and with whom.
From conversations with analysts across major banks, roughly 40% end up leaving banking within 3-5 years, while about 25% do make Associate. The distinction between successful explorers and those who damage their internal position comes down to specificity and timing. Analysts who successfully maintain optionality tend to have external conversations after their first full year, when their competence is already established. They also tend to frame external exploration around skill-building relevant to banking (understanding product strategy, learning about scaling) rather than announcing departure intent. Internal relationships among your peer cohort are actually your best asset—that network generally understands everyone’s exploring, and there’s an implicit agreement not to broadcast it upward.