Feeling trapped in my senior IC role despite significant contributions

Product management Product management careers and networking
1

I’m a 35-year-old with 12 years in major tech companies and consulting. Currently, I’m positioned at the top of the IC ladder as a Senior Product Lead and am eager to transition into management.

A few months ago, I sought advice on overcoming the “no management experience” hurdle. I took the recommendations to heart and acted on them. I started taking charge of larger projects, mentoring junior colleagues, networking extensively, enrolling in leadership training, and secured a mentor and coach.

Crucially, I built a direct collaboration with a Senior Sales Director overseeing our region, which is something no other IC does. I thought this would increase my chances for a management opportunity since sales leadership roles appear more accessible.

For three consecutive quarters, I helped all of his department heads achieve their targets, which is quite uncommon. I have monthly meetings with him to review progress, strategize for upcoming quarters, and highlight successes. I’ve been clear about my aspiration to transition into a management role.

He values our collaboration and has even provided excellent performance reviews for me recently, which significantly boosted my confidence and standing within the team.

Here’s my dilemma: Two weeks ago, a Sales Manager I know well announced she would be going on maternity leave at year-end. Her team mainly consists of new hires, and she suggested that I fill in during her absence. She encouraged me to approach her director to discuss this opportunity.

Last week, during my scheduled meeting with him, I presented our impressive mid-quarter performance, making it the perfect moment to express my interest.

The meeting went exceptionally well. I shared our achievements, the director was pleased with the results, and in the final minutes, I pitched my case. I emphasized how closely the role aligned with my career objectives, how I have consistently delivered for all his teams, and how I have built a rapport with the team, along with outlining my strategies for 2025.

To my surprise, he laughed and acknowledged my initiative, but he mentioned wanting an internal team member to take over instead, stating that “in your current role, you contribute to all my teams’ success, in this new role, you’d only support one team. You excel in what you do presently.”

I suggested that I could assist my replacement in maintaining high performance, but he seemed uninterested.

This has left me feeling demoralized, leading me to take some time off to regroup. It feels counterproductive for a leader to think this way, and I feel penalized for my strong performance. The challenge is that our relationship increases my visibility within the organization, making it difficult to shift my focus to another region. Building similar connections elsewhere might take months and may not be feasible, as not all senior directors collaborate closely with ICs like he does.

I am still applying for positions outside the company, but the tech job market is tough at the moment. I seek guidance from seasoned professionals on managing this situation without jeopardizing my career. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

For now, I plan to continue my work while hoping for an internal management position to open up, but I must admit my motivation has taken a significant hit.

Thanks for taking the time to read my lengthy post.

2

Your director doesn’t doubt your skills - he just doesn’t want to lose what’s working. He’s stuck in resource optimization mode instead of thinking about your career growth. His pushback comes from fear of disrupting a good thing, not from questioning whether you can handle the promotion. Here’s what I’d do: pitch him a transition plan that tackles his main worry head-on. Show him exactly how you’d phase out your cross-team work while training someone to take over. Give him a timeline so he knows you won’t just disappear and leave gaps. Also, loop in HR about succession planning. They’ve got pull with managers who try to hold back good people for operational reasons. Bigger picture - start having career conversations with senior leadership outside your immediate team. Document what you’ve accomplished and tie it to your career goals with dates. This creates accountability and stops managers from stalling indefinitely just because it’s convenient for them.

3

The director’s response actually shows he sees your leadership potential! His hesitation proves you’re management material. Use this momentum to pitch a hybrid role - keep supporting all teams while officially managing one. Frame it as growing your role, not replacing what you do!

4

Ah, the classic “you’re too valuable to promote” trap. You’ve made yourself indispensable in a dead-end role. Your director basically said keeping you as his personal workhorse matters more than your career growth. He’s never gonna promote you - why kill the golden goose? Stop being so helpful and get strategic about where you spend your energy. Dial back that collaboration.

5

Been there, and it’s frustrating as hell. Here’s what worked for me - I started having regular 1:1s with my skip-level manager and other department heads. Your director won’t budge because he’s comfortable with the status quo, but his peers might see things differently. Document everything you’ve accomplished and start building relationships outside his sphere. I also made it clear I’d consider external offers if growth opportunities didn’t materialize internally. Sometimes you gotta create pressure from multiple angles. Don’t let one person’s shortsightedness derail your career - you’ve already proven you can deliver.