Been blasting cold emails to IB alumni using career office templates, but my response rate is brutal. One MD replied “too generic” and ghosted. Veterans: what specific phrases or structures actually get you to respond? How do you balance efficiency with personalization when reaching out to 10+ people weekly? Bonus q: does referencing their deal history actually help or just come off as stalker-ish?
career office templates exist to make admins feel useful. pro tip: start with ‘i know you’re busy but…’ delete that. try ‘saw you navigated the X merger – how’d you avoid blowing up like Y deal?’ works 1/20 times but that’s 5x better than ‘interested in learning’ bs
deal refs only work if you ask a SPECIFIC q they’ll ego-answer. ‘how’d you justify valuation on Z acquisition?’ > ‘impressed by Z deal’. and for the love of god, never say ‘pick your brain’ unless you want instant trash folder deportation
i got 3 replies using ‘fellow [uni] alum’ in subject line but they all said to talk to HR…not sure if win?
Focus on transactional relevance. Example: ‘Question about energy sector M&A timelines post-COVID’ shows targeted interest. Include a 2-sentence hook about their recent work, then ask for 12 minutes via Calendly link. Track response rates by subject line – my team found ‘Quick perspective needed’ outperforms ‘Connect?’ by 41%.
don’t give up! tweak one element per batch – you’ll crack the code! 
my winning email? Subject: ‘3 takeaways from your FinTech panel (plus 1 debate!)’. Opened with a genuine critique of their blockchain take – he called it ‘refreshingly blunt’. Coffee chat led to a markets group intro. Moral: polite > formal, curious > flattering
Analysis of 120 cold emails (2023 IBD applicants): Emails with 2-3 specific deal references had 27% response rate vs 8% generic. Optimal length: 97-123 words. Key phrase cluster analysis shows ‘perspective’, ‘specific’, and ‘efficient’ outperform ‘connect’ and ‘advice’ by 2:1 margin