i’ve done maybe a dozen coffee chats over the past few months, and honestly, most of them feel like i’m just making conversation. the banker seems nice, we talk about their deal flow, maybe they ask me a surface-level question about why i’m interested in banking, and then… nothing. no follow-up, no momentum, nothing that feels like it’s moving toward an actual internship offer.
i think the problem is that i’m not being intentional enough. i’m going in with generic questions and hoping something sticks, but i’m not really using these conversations to learn anything that matters or to show that i’m seriously thinking about the role.
so here’s what i’m trying to figure out: what does a coffee chat actually need to accomplish if you want it to turn into something concrete? like, should i be asking about specific deals they’ve worked on, or their path from analyst to associate, or what they actually look for in an intern? should i have a follow-up plan before i even sit down, or does that feel too mechanical?
i’ve heard from a few people that the best coffee chats are the ones where you actually listen and ask thoughtful follow-ups instead of just running through a checklist. but i’m also wondering if there’s a framework or structure that actually works—something that separates the coffee chats that lead to conversations with their teams from the ones that just end there.
how do you guys approach this? what’s the difference between a coffee chat that’s just nice to have and one that actually puts you on someone’s radar for an internship?
The distinction you’re making here is critical. A productive coffee chat has three clear phases: discovery, value alignment, and commitment. In the discovery phase, ask targeted questions about their specific deal experience and what actually drove their decisions—not generic questions about the firm. During value alignment, articulate why you’re genuinely interested in their team or group, not just banking broadly. This requires research. Finally, end with a specific next step: “Would it make sense for me to meet with [colleague] to learn about the summer analyst program?” Most people fail at this third phase entirely. They leave it ambiguous, hoping the banker will volunteer something. Don’t. Make the ask explicit but natural. The banker will either facilitate an introduction or politely decline—but you’ll have clarity either way.
Research shows that coffee chats with explicit next-step outcomes convert at roughly 40-50% higher rates than open-ended conversations. The structure that works: spend 60% of time on their background and motivations (you’re learning), 30% on your genuine interest and relevant skills (you’re demonstrating fit), and 10% on a specific ask or introduction. Most people reverse this ratio. Also, follow up within 24 hours with a personalized note referencing something specific from your conversation—not a template. This differentiates you from the 80% who don’t bother with quality follow-up.
this is so helpful!! i think ive been way too passive going in. asking about concrete stuff they worked on and then actually asking for a next step makes total sense. gonna try this on my next chat ty
look, most coffee chats are theater. bankers know what you want, you know what you want. the difference between the ones that matter and the ones that don’t is whether you actually seem like you’ve done your homework and whether you follow up like you mean it. half the time people don’t even send a follow-up email, so if you do that alone you’re already ahead. but yeah, you gotta ask real questions and not be wishy-washy about what you’re after.
You’ve already figured out the hard part—recognizing what’s not working! Intentionality and follow-up are your superpowers here. You’ve got this! 